The Bible has a LOT to say about love and sex. Maybe you know that. Maybe you’re thinking about all the commands the Bible has as it relates to sex. That’s not what I’m thinking of here. The Bible has so much to say about love and sex, in fact, an entire book of the Bible–The Song of Solomon–is an erotic love poem. It’s got some steamy things to say.
The Song of Solomon, in fact, is grouped with other books we call the “Wisdom Books” of the Bible–the wisdom books are the poetic books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, the Song of Solomon, and Lamentations. These books are meant to give a perspective that will help the reader live life in a way that will result increasing peace and blessing.
So, here are a few tidbits of wisdom the Bible gives us about sex and love.
Romantic love means the lover finds their beloved as perfect.
You’ve heard love is blind? You wonder, maybe, how he could find her beautiful or how she can kiss his ugly face? That’s because romantic love makes us esteem the other as even more beautiful than they actually are. Look how Song of Solomon 4:7 says it–“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Or consider the words of Solomon 5:10, “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.” In other words, no one else compares with him.
That may explain some things, but it may also explain why you should be careful who you give your heart to. Love will make you blind, as least for a time, to the flaws of the person you love. Here’s a second insight into love from the Bible–
When someone is in love, it should lead to an exclusive relationship.
Song of Solomon 2:2 says, “As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.” In other words, every other person is a thorn compared to the one that is loved.
Romantic love is nurtured by sex.
In fact, the Bible encourages in numerous places that married people have an unrestrained and unbridled exclusive sexual relationship. Proverbs 5:15-20 put it like this, “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?”
On top of words like this, the exclusive sexual relationship is presented in the Bible as something that keeps the relationship safe. Married sex keeps the love alive, as it were. It keeps the love alive between people all their lives.
Unless there is a medical condition, sex should be enthusiastically pursued by married people. It’s wise, in fact. One more insight from Song of Solomon–
Romantic and sexual desire ultimately fail to fill our deepest needs for love.
That’s right. The best love of your life will eventually let you down or die. In this way, romantic and sexual love do not offer ultimate fulfillment. Instead, they point us to our need for God’s love. Consider the words of Song of Solomon 5:2-6, “I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: ‘Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew my hair with the dampness of the night.’ I have taken off my robe, must I put it on again? I have washed my feet—must I soil them again? My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.”
In other words, as overwhelming as this kind of desire might be, the object of our desire can vanish. No romantic relationship, no matter how charged with love or with erotic desire, is something that will never disappoint or will last forever. In fact, you may find that as intense as this kind of love or romance or sexual union might be, it can vanish just as quickly.
However, the limitations of romantic love point us to the limitless love of God. In fact, the Bible repeats again and again that God’s love and faithfulness never end. Consider the words of the prophet Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:22-23, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Maybe that’s why we are always drawn to larger-than-our-limitations expressions of love. We tell our loved ones we will love them forever or they will always be ours. It’s good to love like that, I’d just encourage you today to ask God fill the longing in your heart for love with his love that never fails.